I’m the older one in this relationship so when he talks about his ex [his first and longest relationship] I shouldn’t feel these twinges of jealousy but I’ve seen her. I can see what he saw. When he mentioned that the neighbors son had a ‘hot wife but she looks like a b****’ all I heard was that she was hot. When I saw her I knew that I didn’t stack up. When he judged a big girl for what she was wearing I couldn’t help saying that if she was skinny he wouldn’t mind.
I’m fat. I’m disgusting and I don’t understand why he’s with me. I hate myself so much more than he realizes and I don’t want it to pour out. I just need to hold it in.
