Okay… Honestly, I don’t know what to do with this I feel. I am going crazy day by day, I am continuously stressed, almost all the time with work, university, friends, and myself. What I mean is, I’m a sixteen years old boy who just hates himself, I have many issues I reckon, I hate my body because I don’t have any muscle, but I don’t want to build muscle because I really don’t like it eather, yes, I can’t make good decicions, I love being kind, polite and respectful, but I also hate it because everyone just throws me aside, I feel like nobody cares for me and I care about everyone, even those that actually hate me, I’m sensitive, I cry easily, I’m shy, but nobody really sees that, they think I’m just a boy, and everyone says to me that boys don’t cry, but when I look at myself in the mirror I just want to cry, when a friend ignores me, I just want to cry… I posted this here because posting it anywhere else would have been considered a rant, and I don’t want it to be considered as a rant because when I see I’m complaining about my own crisis it just makes me depressed, I don’t know what to do, every day that passes makes me go insane more and more because there’s ALWAYS something to bring me down every single day, I’m really done with all this, suicide thoughts? They are like a routine to me, I often find myself thinking of how many ways I could die ONLY to be noticed.
Yeah, that’s the kind of person I am… It’s selfish to say it, but I do need more attention and affection than most people…