Look sweet-heart, I wish there was a way that we could get our stuff to each other and we could be a part of each others lives in some way. I really do. I dont get this way often these days, ever really, I’ve been disillusioned in “love”, the world has changed and is changing, things have shifted, Im older but I was thinking today about how sweet and nice it would be to do things with you. Lots of things, small things and big things. Just be with you a part of each others lives. That would be so so nice. I wish so bad, and I dont say that much or feel that or even really have much hope of finding that kind of thing to what I need anymore. Things have changed and I accept that. Its not as bad as what that angry racist black person posted here earlier about “white bitches” its not THAT but, but unfortunately its sort of right. My way of thinking has changed based on experience. I have basicaly lost all hope in what I thought things were. The fairy tale bullshit. You have no isea how much I thought about you in the years immediately after I left. Really, but the thought of you, I dont know for sure, we dont really know each other or what we’ve been through, I dont think you could intentionally hurt me or cause me grief. I dont think, I dont know, but thats the way I see it with you too and I couldn’t intentionally hurt you or your life for anything.
But there isn’t a way to do that that I can think of. I regret that I didnt do things. If I had more nerve I could have talked to your aister and handed it off to her, but I didn’t and I regret it badly.
I think about it now, I feel old and time is just going by and I wish I had done things when it came to you.
If I’m being conpletely honest, I ALWAYS thought you were so so beautiful, you floored the shit right out of me that night those years later, it almost brings a tear to my eye, so so so beautiful, I might be a bit biased, but even that night, I assumed you had a good looking 6 ft 2 guy with big dreams out there, maybe even showing up. I assumed and have always assumed, I love you, but the fact is there is no way a woman like you isn’t snatched up and out of reach to me, who was probably forgotten or at the very least less important than some of the things that came after I was gone. That took me by surprise. The thing that as incredible about that night is you pdrobabpy were the last thing on my mnd then. By then, you were there still, you will be forever, but you were the last thng on my mind. I figured for sure you had started your life with someone, probably married, I was never going to see you so I wasnt thinking about you very often. And then wham! Just stunning beauty right between the eyes, and it wasnt just the stunnng beauty it was what you meant to me.
I still think you’re hitched, unfortunately for me.