I don’t consider myself bulimic or anorexic but some people might. I hate eating, and I hate feeling full even more. I like food, but avoid eating every chance I get. I can’t get away with skipping dinner, but I usually skip lunch and breakfast with ease. When I’m in a situation where I have to eat a decent amount to avoid suspicion I get upset. I never freak out in front of people, I do in private though. I always go to the bathroom after dinner. Sometimes I pace back and forth for about 45 minutes, and get kind of angry at myself. I usually take a shower and try to force myself to throw up. When I just can’t puke I settle for gagging a few times. It’s not like I do it because I hate myself (I do, but that’s besides the point) or I want to be skinny. I’ve seen other people who are much worse, and I know it does not make you pretty AT ALL. I am fairly well educated for my age, and I know starving yourself or puking like that does horrible things to your body. I don’t think I actually have a reason to do it… it just, makes me feel better I guess. It’s not like I find throwing up fun, it just makes me feel better. Sometimes I think I’m insane, or maybe I’m just weird, but I know for sure I’m not normal.
