I am so confused, and what am I supposed to do? I am tired of everything. Of every single fucking thing on earth. I am so lost in this idea of this world.

6 years

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I am so confused, and what am I supposed to do?
I am tired of everything. Of every single f****** thing on earth.
I am so lost in this idea of this world. And everyone thinks I am just this stupid teenager. But I am more then that. I am me.
But I have no idea of who I am. I am so f****** confused about my gender and so I’ll have to deal with the s********. And I don’t know anything anymore.
I don’t feel anything anymore. I am so distracted and bored and I don’t know what else. I can’t name it.
I lost everything. When I was younger I lived in a different country for half a year. I made friends there. But then me moved back home. And I lost all the contact.
I can never keep contact with anyone. I can never trust anyone. I am scared of what everyone thinks about me.
I think nobody believes in me. And nobody understands. And I really need to get all of it off my chest. And nothing seems to help.
It seems like I am the most unlikeable person. I am done. I am falling. I am giving up.

New Confession

Today did it.
Today you broke me without even knowing.
Today was the day I lost that interest and desire to be more.
You see, I was under the impression that we were friends…
Suddenly I’ve realized that I have been your friend… But you have been his friend and I’m just an extension of him.

I’ll be seeing “us” as such from now on.

I’m sorry it took me so long to see the truth. To be honest, I was under the delusion that you were somehow different. That maybe you were the knight in shinny armour that would finally see me, finally care enough to hear me, the person that would finally choose me.

Stupid right?

It won’t happen again.

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