I wish you lose your sight and hearing. Not completely but enough to make you keep going. Maybe one leg or arm chopped off. You will have a long miserable life and scream in torture endlessly. I hope everyone around you have s***** lives so you cannot depend on them but instead blame on each other leaving you deserted. However, don’t you dare commit a suicide. I will even lend you a hand so you can keep dreaming and hope for a better day which will never come to a realization. Live a long, lonley life where there is nothing to be remembered and no one to cry for you. Have a painful death at the end and be found after you are substantially rotted.