how I feel, right now even though I am ill waiting for back surgery. I try to get a little exercise in but I hurt when I walk too much. I have to admit I have no ambition right now to be much more. I am saving time, money a little and my bones taking it easier on a sickness benefit. it took me a while to except that as I wanted to be seen as this hard worker and achiever now I don´t care. I don´t care to be much at present. that may change. but I don´t care that I am not a doctor or nurse, or that I gave a law degree or gave up driving due to medications and the stroke, I am glad I never did acting and modeling I am what I always really wanted to be- I did the right thing compared to trevor l ane pod iatry he drives with only the sight of one eye. he is a danger to others on the road. I believe in being sensible and responsible!!!!!! rather then regret later. I have enough regrets with the r*** and not speaking up sooner about the abuse. I tried to but I was silenced.

, I never get the men I want and I am sick of it. they never treat me right. I don´t understand why men throw things at me that hurt my feelings since I was a child. I like men who treat me nicely and not hitting me or kicking me.

I know Kelly doo nan has had heaps of men. her father was or is a big time manager of like 6 or 7 stores of big w down in Sydney. she is used to getting her way in everything like her father. they use bullying and hurtful things, my cousins have been so cruel to me since a child getting me molested and raped. they play like bad a** bad people like in a soap opera. and I am sick of that. Kelly was an attractive girl. I am sure she was shagging William and Thorpe in the games. she is a back stabber, like all Italians they are s******* evil people who do “BAD” to get ahead in this world and don´t care who they hurt to win.
comparisons are wrong, my cousins are trying to make out that my mild simulated s***** experiences as a child with other kids is equal to adult relationships and they are not. they are trying to make out I am a s*** just because my great uncle molested me as a child of 5 years of age and that is not a fair or appropriate comparison at all. a p*** of 70 who is drunk abusive, violent on a little girl of 5 is not equal to fairytale romance or young lovers in their 20s. nor are the little boys I were friends with. a peak kiss at the age of 5 is not the same as marriage or s** at the age of 18 or 21? it was nothing like that. and what bill did to me is a separate issue different in 100 ways compared to what I did with little boys around my age as child. I was not the p*** my great uncle was.