I know r*** is an often misused word. but when you have been genuinely raped by a stranger and suffer terrible suffering it is no laughing matter. most of my life all I have know is r*** or a old man tying me down. I still hate everything about their physical presence. I can not stand the thought of being near that man ever without feeling disgust. r*** is over used in a bad way most of the time on this site.
I have a rage in side, I have watched a lot of b****** p*** since being raped and sometimes dream of having violent s** with a man… there is a part of me that wants to bash and whip a man in anger with or without the s**. why do I feel this way on and off. this feeling like I want to physically hurt a man? where does it come from? when my uncle bill was hitting me and molesting me a few times I paid him back. I feel bad about it. but I did it. it is a path I don´t want to go down and it frightens me. what if I lashed out and killed someone. I once went to a hotel were a prostitutes body had been mangled by a client. that is why I hate hotels.
violence in hotels scars me, I was cleaning in a hotel where a prostitute had been murdered and there was blood all up the walls. it spooked me out. you don´t know who has been killed in hotels. one night at a hotel there was a violent s** romp going on downstairs, me and michelle and william were in the hotel room together. the police were called.
joyce was always saying i had to have s** out of anger…
I had to be rapeable!
people like joyce cause s***** violence like this to happen… and who has to pick up the mess later.