Ever since I lost my best friend Gloria because of a fight I stupidly escalated, I’ve attempted suicide several times and fallen back into old habits. I hate that I miss her so badly, and I hate that I get angry at her for giving up on me so easily and after all the things she said. I just want these confused feelings to quit their b******* and no matter how hard I try to move on, it keeps dragging me back.

I figured I’m just going to make my death slow. I know she probably won’t give a f*** if she knew if I was starving myself, but there’s a sick hope in me that she might see this confession and do something, even if its to tell me to knock it off, I just miss her so badly I don’t care what our interaction will be.