I categorized this under “fantasy” because the word fantasy, unlike “truth,” implies fondness and happiness. And my fantasy is to brutally mutilate and murder my mother’s “boyfriend.”

I could go on and on about the ways he abuses her and my little brother and sisters. I could list all the habits and lies. I could talk about all the kids he’s made but never taken care of. Or how creepy it is that he’s 54 years old and she’s 39 and he has her call him “sir” and “daddy.” But instead I’d rather describe how beautiful our lives would be without him.

We could afford a nice house. We could buy food. We could talk openly and freely to each other about whatever we want. We could listen to music in the living room, and not have to hide the things that make us happy. My mom could laugh and smile again. She could wear whatever she wants and not have to worry about being criticized and ridiculed, and instead realize that she is one of the most beautiful women in the world. My 3-year-old brother would learn that his name is a strong, handsome name, it’s not Little S***, Mother Fucker, or B******. My little sisters could laugh as much as they want. And play without being punished for expressing individuality. Maybe my other baby brother could come back home.

This person. He walks on eggshells around me. He never dares to look me straight in the eye. Some people deserve to die.