I have a long story to narrate. This is about my whole life. Even as a child my mind was full of love. I grew up watching my parents deep love and I thought that is what love life means. I imagined myself in love during my school days. Had a crush since I was 7 year old. But that was just a crush. At the age of 17 I met a person and fell I love with him and I assumed it was the divine live I was searching for. I lost my virginity with him and eloped with him when I was 18. But with in a month I realised it was jus lust and not love.he had other desires on me. At age of 20 I left him and came back to my parents and 22 I got divorced. Forgot to tell u, I had my 2nd attraction at the age of 15 to one of my friend and also had an online affair with a person when I turned 16. But those didn’t last. But I was badly hurt when the online affair broke.
So my real story happened after my divorce. I was completely devastated by 22. Flet like killing myself many a time. I was so disappointed and depressed that I wanted to booze. And one day I went with a friend and we boozed and later had s** with that guy. That was just a start. I started loving the lust. After that I had s** with many. Most of the time it was over alcohol or smoke. In btwn I met a guy and fell a attachment towards him. But he betrayed me and again my heart broke. I started to smoke more. And was turning to a chain smoker. It was then I met my husband. Even before the love sparked we were bonded with lust. He too had some frustrations and we busted it off. We started to live together and around 5 years later we got married and have a kid now. He love the kid But dont have that connection with me. He is still in love with his ex girlfriend. What should I do. I live him like hell but I am not getting the vibe back. Should I find a love for myself?
