Fated girl…. your post makes me sad. I knew a girl a really long time ago. I consider her my first real deal with that knd of loss. The way it happened.

And I will never forget her, even though there was really nothing, we didn’t get a chance, and I STILL see close remnants of it all these years later.

I think about that time and her often. At the time I thought she would have seen me a pest and it hurt me that I had to go, but I also just gave for the first time too. I encouraged change, I wanted it, I knew it was coming anyway, but I guess I sort of gave up on her, relictantly. Or thought I had to. I was dealing with all kinds of loss at that time, from my dog to whatever. Change, but she was one of those things to me. I thought it was more to me, than to her.

I think about it though, and what could have been going through her mind. For all I know she cared more than I knew, not to say that she didnt even just a little bit, I knew it then too,but for all I know it effected how she sees relationships and “love” after. Even though we were so young.

But yeah. When I think about that time in life, if I see some nostalgia, maybe even if I go to a grocery store our families both happened to be at on a Saturday or Sunday, yeah. I get deep. I look at the building and think “was that stone, brick, bolt, whatever there when we both shared oxygen here?”

When I read something like you wrote I don’t know what to think or feel.

I just read you post, thought about her, and thought “man, I wish I could lay down with her (fully clothed) and talk”