I’m unpredictable. Which also sadly means I cannot be relied upon. Because even I do not have complete control over my actions. I impulsively do things when I’m stressed or have mad amounts of anxiety. Like going on a drinking binge after finding out I can’t trust anybody at work. Not even the person I thought was a legit friend. And then going MIA for lengthy periods due to being able to not formulate thoughts or sleeping off what ever vice ive indulged. I do desperately want to end this. But at the same time I don’t. It weird. I enjoy being a wild card. Because that means anything is possible. Except for stability. I don’t f****** know man. I just wish things were different. I wish I was different. But I guess I am who I am to a fault. F*** it. Imma go smoke this blunt. Outtie y’all
