Dude seriously, I don’t know how old you are you seem like a kid, you are obviously up all night, all day, 24/7 and if I’m being honest, I know who you’re obsessed with.
I think you need to talk to your parents and get some help. You don’t know this person, you never will, and when it comes right down to it, you are nothing like him. You never will be no matter how hard you want to or how hard you try. One of a kind, like everyone else on this planet mind you, but one of a kind.
The key too being happy in life is to be alright with who you are, like who you are and have the confidence to realize that if you can’t have something, or if you see something as being way better or out of your league, out of your reach, that’s not your fault, that’s not your loss, it’s theirs and believe it. Be able to back up why you believe this and be able to believe that they f****** know it too.