7 years
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I just failed a test in a class I studied for, I understood, and I’m suppose to be majoring in.

I am living with my abusive mother who doesn’t understand me

I have been diagnosed with PTSD and mood swings but I can’t get treatment for it without paying $350 for blood work

Dont have money cause don’t have a job

Don’t have a job cause I don’t got a car

Don’t got a car cause I got in a car accident that totaled my car

Got in a car accident cause I was distracted while driving

Was distracted while driving cause I just got laid off my full time job and was worried about my expenses. Was checking my bank statement when I got into a car accident.

Got laid off my job because they couldn’t work around my school schedule.

Got laid off right after I got into a whole bunch of medical debt from being misdiagnosed with lupus. Luckily I don’t have lupus, just parvovirus B19 and a large debt.

The man I love is 15 years older than me and has a girlfriend. He claims he loves me too but he doesn’t love me enough to break up with her and work things out with me.

I want to be a botanist, plant geneticist, or just regular geneticist.

How the f*** am I going to do any of that with a 2.7 gpa and getting a 62.7 on my first test in principles of Ecology?

F******

Ecology

I f****** eat ecology for breakfast

And I got a D?!

I want to die. I legitimately am loosing the will to live. I have nothing to live for. My reasons why are a lot more than my why nots.

Why not:
My dog. Greywind. Literally one of the largest sense of purpose and responsibility I have to continue living.
My romantic entanglement. Even though he has a girlfriend he’s taught me a lot about myself and I feel as though he genuinely cares about me, and he would miss me if I killed myself.
My godmother. She is too old and has put up with me for too long for me to die sooner than she has. Shes 84.
The beauty of life. I love fauna and Flora of Earth. The natural beauty is abundant

Why:
Humans s***
I lack control
I can’t go through more pain and anxiety.
Life keeps throwing punches at me after whiping out a pistol and shooting me in the gut.

New Confession

My mother and I have been f****** fot along time. Ever since my dad passed away one thing led to another me and my mom started to fooling around with each other and we’ve been doing it for what now 3 years since my dad died we were just got back from Las Vegas Nevada we went to a wedding up there and we had s** pretty much the whole time we were there because we don’t get to do it too often here because there’s just too many people around and so but we indulged in it pretty much did every position that we could think of and gambled a little bit and want some and that’s why my mom told me that my brother-in-law that married my sister had died couple days ago and I told my mom at the I wanted to tell my sister or surprise her with me and my mom having s** together and I want her to walk in on us kind of like but I haven’t talked to my sister in years and she owes me because of what she’s done to me and my father when my dad died she did some nasty things to the family and when I left Tahoe she did a couple nasty things to me so I wanted to get back at her so I told my mom that I was going to call her up never come up here I wanted mom to be in my room naked laying down with your legs spread and I was going to go and answer the door and I’m trying to come in my bedroom and there she’ll see my mom laying there naked and with the big spread wide open and I would walk right over and stick my c*** right up inside my mouth to see what my sister says. So my sister comes over to the house and let her in and lock the dopr and.told my sister i eanted her in my bedroom. So i open my door and mom is laying naked with her legs wide open and my sister looks at my mom and me and said what the hell is going on. I said what does it look like and she said it looks like you and mom have been f****** and then i said yes and i want you tp jpin in. She looked at me and said ypu have to be kidding me. I said nope i want you to take all your clothes off and take moms place. I look right at her and told her mom told me all about you and Dad so take off all your clothes and get over here she said mom why did you tell him about me and Dad because I asked her to. I know Dad was your first and I know Dad was f****** you when you guys would go out on your dad and daughter nights. So how many times did you f*** dad before mom found out and she said about 20 times or 30 times and said really cuz mom says that you started really enjoying dad’s c*** pumping you and making you c** but you never got pregnant from Dad

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