As much potential we have for some things in life it seems inevitable that in some moment in it we will have to face failures, with all the elements of suffering that come with them. In fact it seems the most reasonable to assume that regularly, life will throw us problematic situations that we wont be able to solve or prevent.
It may be that we didn’t knew enough and then acted on this ignorance to provoque the problem, or let the problem come to us or make the problem even worse. It may be that we could only take so much suffering and weren’t able to hold on in the painful/fearful situations and so abandoned or avoided doing something that was necesary to solve or prevent the problem. It may be many reasons, either comming from us alone at that time, or comming from outside and then to us, invariable of the kinds of defficiencies in ourselves that caused us to do less than OK, the fact inevitably remains: we will prove to be defficient sometime in someway in life.
We will fail, and we will prove to be defficient sometime in someway in life. What are we to do with all of this? What are we to thing about ourselves and others, of our defficient-in-something human condition? What are we to do with the feelings that come with these failures, the shame, guilt, humiliation, embarrasment, fear and pain and that normaly come in life with them?
The right perspective on this, I think, is a matter of great importance to our life, at a personal and social level. I have though for a long time about this subject and what follows next contains my point of views about it:
After much thinking and reading about the human condition, the philosophical and psychological matters in question, I think that ultimately we are not to blame for our defficiencies, in any way whatsoever; we are to be understood for our shorcommings, forgiven and treated compassionately to ourselves.
Life is injust; we have a personality that does what it does because it is formed to do so by the circunstances that shaped it. The control we have on our lives is contigent to our obtained knowledge about the facts on the matters, the impressions things or other people give us in life that orient our thing to certain trail sequence of processing and the shaping of our emotional trigger, boudaries and limites that produce our moods and so affect our behaving, thinking and acting.
If it would have been within our power, we woudn’t have made any mistake in life, we would have foreseen everything we needed to be and accomplish our dreams with no failure at all, never fail in moments or in complete proyects. But it isn’t, with all that happens we do the most and best that we could do as life has shaped us to be, and so we suffer the injustices of our own specific context. It is only right to understand our suffering, forgive ourselfs and extend an inner arm of solidariti to our inner suffering child that by all means as at those moments risk bottom hard. It is the just thing to do, and it is the most beneficial thing to do too.
If we tend a loving and understanding arm to ourselves after our frustrations I can only help to feel the void and regain the streght to keep going, or keep being a psychologically heathful human being.
Your faults, your defficiencies, are your own: you have them… But you did what you only could have done, it’s your defficiency, but it’s not ultimately yours to blame.