The other day I went out on a blind date with a sweet and athletic fit nurse from San Francisco. I was able to spend a few hours with her, and I couldn’t help feeling a little excited the way she had her arm around me and how gorgeous she looked in a dress. The excitement led me to performing self-gratification once last night and twice today, I just can’t help with these wild emotions whenever I go out with somebody attractive that I literally loose myself to wanting to kiss, cuddle, and be a little intimate and this is totally typical for a 35 year old that has been on the dating scene for 5 years. Sometimes I wake up feeling alone in bed with out having someone laying beside me to give me morning love and be intimate together as a couple, and the sad part is that this is simply a dream I have that leads me to giving into self-gratification any time I make out or become intimate with a woman. That is not the sad part, its the feeling that I have never been in a relationship and I carry the fear of being committed to someone, and I hope that I will be able to commit and have someone in my life to give me unconditional love as I give them the same.