i met a guy a month ago in a pub, we went on a date and already had s** on the second date. i usually look for a guy who is at least a head taller than me, physically fit and a non-smoker, but he’s totally opposite. ok what i’m trying to say here is that he works in my city as an intern and will possibly go back to his country after 4 months. we have only met 4 times and i think i’ve possibly fallen for him and that’s where the problems have begun..i’m not completely being myself when i’m with him as i always suppress my emotion in front of him, not letting him know my feeling nor pretending i don’t really care about what we have become after “4 times dating”. but deep in my heart, i wanted to be with him so badly. when we get intimated, there’s an electric between us, i feel like being with a guy whom has been together for long.

however, a week ago i saw a girl posted a heart shape on his wall in FB. i was kinda upset because i felt like betrayed (even thou we ain’t an item), since then i told myself that he’s just playing game and i should stop seeing him before i hurt myself.

we last contacted was 2 weeks ago while we were traveling in different country. i knew he was back last weekend but he didn’t contact me until 2 days ago. he told me that he’s back and what i’m up to with kisses and stuff, i didn’t reply then tonight he texted again, asked if i’m mad at him and he wants to see me. i haven’t replied yet cause i don’t know if i should.

i’m lost because he wont’ be here for long and he may be a player or i overthink everything? or perhaps i should follow my heart even i know i will get hurt in the end…?