When my ex left me, I had already knew it was coming. I didn’t want to believe it so I deluded myself right up until I heard the words “can we talk” at that moment time just stood still, like in the movies. And I felt my heart drop out of my chest. But I didn’t fight her or try to ask why. I just told her that I understood. And I did. We weren’t good for eachother. Not at that moment in time. And i could see she was pained by it. The amount of hurt she was feeling. So I just let her go. So that maybe she could find what her heart was searching for. But it came at a great personal cost to myself. It cost me my sanity. My desire to be happy. My will to live really. Because She was my rock. She was the woman I had dreamt of marrying. To me she was my world. So it was very conflicting. And it shattered me to my core. And the thing is she doesn’t know how much I spiraled afterwards. How low I sank. And she never will. Because I don’t want her to bare that burden. Even after how poorly she treated me after the fact when I tried to get closure. No matter how much bad she did to me, I could never throw that on her. I just hope she finds peace and whatever it is that she is looking for because she does deserve it. I just wish I could have been by her side when she found it. So here’s to you babe, I miss you like hell but there’s no way back to us, just stay safe and be happy.