so far I am 42 and I have had a number of evil twins, Diana was one evil twin that sucked me in and spat me out. there was louise as well and a few girls at school who bashed me up. but the worst of all was katy. I mean that girl (all of 26 but more like 3) was psycho, over rick and each time I really wanted to close to him she messed so much up. I loved him right from the start our eyes met and we sat and had lunch together in a film production seminar.

well, if looks could kill that literally made my blood fall to my feet and nearly faint when she was in the car and tried to run me over in the mud and rain at a place near Razer Back at the Gold Coast. from that moment on I was terrorized of what she might do to me. I sat in the rain in the gutter crying while they were drinking again after a hard night of f****** orgie and drinking and that just was not my style.

I never had a lot of close contact with men, and it was so bad that I was afraid of men my sisters husband David was a very suitable kind of husband for most women but I became frighted around him with my sister all the time saying “how he likes this perfect and that perfect and tow his line or else) I was afraid to be near men. David was an ok brother in law and good father and very very very clever… david would drive anywhere I wanted to go that I thought was strange given that he was married to my sister. I never wanted to put a slur on their marriage or be in the way.

everywhere, when I met ricky (mr martiny) again in 1996 at QUT I was doing political science and economics he must have been in one of my classes. and then I was swooped on by these south Americans (which I liked them. I had known ricky as a child) and I liked francia so much as a friend, but she fucked on to guy that looked like William one night after we met this isreali guy (flirting with me but married) and had a student party. so like everyone knew I liked ricky… but big mistake because of other girls… never again!!!!

I like ricky but feel that he takes me for granted (but I know his family are very wealthy, but ricky betrays my trust and upset me) as always will be there to help him and that is the same with William and Diana… always me pulling the family team or firm together for money to keep the cash flow going, while I am raped and fucked on and bashed like the family dog. I did not know they did the same thing to my mother, really deceptive f****** work… that is heart breaking to me. very very very very broken over Diana death and my grandmothers death and lots of childhood memories haunting and chewing away at my brain and heart.

my sister has brown long hair, I have red hair. I am the shy one out of the two of us.

I don’t know if I have met Ben Barnes or David Oakes the actors (who I adore) and maybe did not know it because I have met a few people like that and did not know…like rudi a number of times and Diana and bugsy. and I have met bowie (but he was awfully functional and businesslike but maybe that is because of situation we were in).