I’m so jealous of my sister, it kills me. Lately I’ve been trying to be a positive and enthusiastic person, but then when I look at her and realize how much better she is than me instantly I feel useless and pitiful. Of course I try to be positive, and think I should just be happy for her, but when I try to reflect on things that I am more talented at than her there really are none. Honestly. And I’m really breaking from this, because I hate myself for harboring such ugly and negative feelings. I don’t want to feel this way. I tell my parents and they scoff and don’t take it seriously, they just put it as me being a drama queen or an attention seeker even if I approach the matter maturely. I think that’s what makes it worse. My sister actually has depression, and yet she’s loved by everyone and is one of the most sociable people I know, so when she’s sad instantly everyone will do everything to make her feel better. And when I’m upset they reprimand me on being emotional or just brush it off, and I know it sounds selfish, but I wish they would consider my feelings as seriously as they consider hers. I know she’s unwell, but aren’t my feelings as an individual valid too? Do they not matter? I try to be as happy as I can, and I appreciate my life so much, but I’m so so unhappy inside. It makes me sick and I hate myself for being such a self-pitying piece of trash. I tell myself to get over these feelings, but I can’t. And I hate myself so much for it. I just want someone to understand how I feel and tell me that I matter too.