So… I snuck out tonight as I usually do either for alone time or simply to hangout with friends. Anyways, tonight I was planning to meet my friend Omar. He seemed like a good guy. A nice 5’8 muscular guy…And it *was* okay we were just chilling, and then he went to kiss me and I just couldn’t.. It didnt feel right so i pulled away but he forced me into it no matter how much i fought or said no.. eventually i gave in to his demands. From then on things only escalated. I wanted to play it off like i meant to play hard to get so that he wouldn’t hurt me right? Anyways he kept forcing himself on me despite my efforts to fight him off.. he touched me everywhere. I can’t get the feeling of his hands roughly grasping on to my arm. Then he grabbed me forced me to sit in the back of his car, forced my legs to divide as i was trying my hardest .. my 5’4 120lb, skinny, selves hardest to get him off of me and before I knew it he yanked my bottom wear off, stuck his finger inside me and told me to just “Sit back and relax” as I was pushing on his shoulder. His P**** followed in shortly after. Forcing himself into me. Again, eventually I gave in and gave him what he wanted. I lied there silent. After a couple of minutes i gather enough courage to push him off me while he was “distracted” and I played it off like i meant for all the no’s to be on purpose so that I could slip away safely. Moral of the story… I feel like s***. I have never wanted to die more in my life. I couldn’t stop cutting my wrist when I got home and i dont understand y because, yes, i put myself in that situation but I shouldnt feel so much hatred toward myself. Anyways i just needed to get that off my chest. I’m not telling anyone else so hopefully this will help..