Find myself deluded by the thought that my relation with Mrk will resume. Just keep thinking that he will be able to convince his wife that everything is fine and that having me as his gay partner whom he professed to love will not pose a threat to her.

Yesterday caught myself thinking that I should send her flowers for their anniversary so that she knows that I pose no threat to her relation with him. The fact that her husband loves me does not mean that he wants to run away with me as he knows that I am also in a relation and have been for so many years, and that I have no plans of terminating my relation with my partner.

Sometimes these hopes enter my mind. I must let them go as they keep me t****** to
the belief that he will manage to convince her that I am ok. The honest truth is that Mrk has been losing ground to Cath demands and finds it extremely difficult to make any gains in establishing himself as the gay man he is. Jun 18 2013

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