I was raped by my ex gf. Now to clarify how I’ll explain. We mutually agreed to the s**, without a condom because that’s how we rolled. But I always pulled out and came somewhere on her or in her mouth. Well this particular when I said I was going to c** I tried to pull out as I usually did. This time however she wouldn’t let me. She was riding me and locked her legs around mine so I couldn’t escape. She forced me to c** in her. I didn’t want to and told her that. She told me it was ok that it would be ok. And I was left feeling confused. I felt dirty because I didn’t want to do it and she forced me to. But it also felt really really good. I had never up till that point in my life had a true o*****. It was intoxicating. I became addicted. A little too much so. Because that’s all I wanted to when we had s** after that and it drove us apart. Which is funny considering she’s the one who started it by r***** me. Which is even funnier to think about when you know that she herself was a r*** survivor. The audacity of it is absurd. And she told a bunch of people I was a bad person and that I treated her poorly too after she broke up with me. Like b**** YOU RAPED ME how tf you gonna tell people I was the one who treated you badly. Yeah let’s not forget all the times I stayed up till three in the morning talking to you and making sure you were ok after an episode, or the times I went out of my way to help you out or get something for your brothers. Yeah let’s not forget all the Dr appts I drove you to so you didn’t have to. Let’s just forget that I changed almost everything about myself to make you happy. Yeah let’s only remember that I came in you a lot when you asked me not to, which only happened because you got me into yeah. Let’s only remember the only dickish thing I did and not mention whatsoever that it was you who turned me on to it by forcing me to do it the first time. I need a f****** drink..