hey,

i miss you. i know i said goodbye – and a lot of other things too, but i miss you.

you know you were my first love. i know, i know – “how cheesy and dumb” right? but you were. we never met – but whatever. you were. i mean – you are. you’ll always be.

so – i said “we never met”. now i might ask “we never will, will we?”. i would, i guess. i would if i could. but i know the answer anyways. so its better i cant.

“it was fun when it lasted”. was it? i mean – of course it was. but. was it? was it fun to you afterall? was it? or were u just too shy to tell me you don’t take it so seriously? but was it fun? was it fun to smile every time i saw your name pop up on my screen? was it fun to stay late on a school night because you finally had time to talk? was it fun to –
to start crying because i wanted you here so bad. i guess it was – when it lasted.

so – i said im going to miss you when i said a lot of other things as well. and i do. i miss you. and bad i do too. but im not so sorry anymore. all those feelings have changed to a big ball of regret, hurt, hate and most importantly: longing. but – no can do, right? no can do.

i miss you. i love you. i will always miss you and you will always be my first love.

b y e