i love my girldfriend so much that it hurts. i have huge loans that are putting pressure on our relationship because i am living with my parents and she lives alone and i cannot afford to move out. i wanna pay off the loans and sell the item that i am in debt to but that means giving up my dream. my girl means more to me than my loan though…. i drove to the nearest church tonight and brought one cigarette and one bullet to kill myself just to avoid the pain of putting up with this materialistic world we live in but i got a text from my girlfriend saying she was sorry about yelling at me…. im constantly thinking about killing myself and im very close to doing it because no matter how hard ive tried nothing seems to help how depressed i am…. i hope i make it through tomorrow.