I feel like a real c*** that I have gone around asking my parents if they have ever killed someone. I know I have not and they say they have not. I talk like an angry b**** and I am moody then I used to be and short tempered as well. I try my best to avoid “the realm of evil” and while I watch or read murder mystery books or movies and some vampire stuff or other stuff I am not a witch or a “mistress evil” or “mistress death”. since doing law I see everyone like a criminal. since having memories of abuse I see every situation as a potential drama. I can’t sit in a train or bus with out fear of things like being slashed with knives and sometimes the fear is so real I can’t walk out the door other days its not an issue. its like some mornings I can sleep in others I start being desperately fearful of ghosts and demons and vampires after me. why? am I normal? sometimes I wish I had a nice boyfriend to hold on to. but then I feel like almost anyone could be a real life vampire. my dreams have told me as much. once I dreamed of vampires in this Gotham city big building and in grave tombs and I looked around this plush complex and started to think and run cuz I thought “OH MY GOD ANY ONE OF THESE PEOPLE COULD BE REAL VAMPIRES THAT WILL TURN INTO REVOLTING SKELETONS OF MUTILATED FLESH AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH ONES” and was I so scared I made myself wake up.
