most times when I see guys I have always thought “Oh I guess I am not good enough for him” being too ugly, too poor, too nervous, too shy, too embarrassed etc the list always goes on, its not like anyone has bothered to make me feel special by coming to me and acting normal or introducing themselves and hugging me or whatever. I have to be the one all time to make the first move and then feeling so worthless I turned to a Indian man for a hug because no white men treated me right. that is the anomaly of all this. ok. when I do what a white man with style charm and intellect and money.

what shocks me the most is that this guy rudi and louise honestly expected me to be raped for there survival. and I never made anyone r*** that dog. louise was f****** bugsy on the kitchen floor in 1975. she was always a rooting w****. her and brig were screwing bugsy out the back yards of other peoples houses at parties in 1978 and I am supposed to be that stupid not to remember. yeh, well I do and they are not going to blame me for it all.

I wont be giving you a thing dirty rudi. for what you did to me. you can guarantee that I will not be a your mongrel childs wedding for what you did to me and Bill.

you killed bill. you destroyed bill. you killer.