my sister constantly helps black foreigners instead of helping me. she gives them money, she says she wouldn’t care if I went out with will or a movie star etc well, that is nice now. shame she didn’t feel that way 25-20 years ago. I made it clear I liked will as far back as in my teens. I made it clear I had met him. yet I do so much to help her. I looked after her little boy when she was having ect in the nut house. I should have been getting my law degree. I was having a nervous break down myself and no one cared or noticed, yet she always gets attention. she is the only girl in the family according to some people. I am sick of my relatives attacking me and competition with me for men. they should no be looking at the men that I like, god knows there are plenty out there, younger richer and hot compared to half the guys I look at.

I never knew who my godparents were, I have never had a proper birthday party, I have never got a valentines day card. I have never gone to a prom or graduation, I have never been married, never had children, never had a real boyfriend, most of the guys I went out with my sister chose and screamed at me to go out with. she would get on the phone and yell at me and demand I go out with these abusive strange men of hers that I did not even like.

its like I am just a ghost.

if people only knew that my bloodlines are doubled for blue bloods. yet I live like s*** poverty and no one even notices me. why? I have waited long enough. I think the young girls should wait as long as I have and suffer what I have and come and tell me how it felt and they will know what I have been through. the cancer I have gone through the car accident.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE THE ARROGANCE AND VIOLENCE OF MY RELATIVES ANYMORE. I HAVE GERMAN BLUE BLOOD ON BOTH SIDES OF MY FAMILY AND I AM GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE MAKE ME PERFECT AND WORTH IT. IF LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG, ITS NOT HERE. ITS SOMEONE CLOSER TO A PALACE. AND I COUNT AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE.