i feel like im someone difrent almost everyday. not like im changeing like im a complete difrent person. im afraid to tell people about my problems. i dont want them to go away but at the same time i want everyone to leave me alone. the other day i was so diffrent someone even asked if i was ok. normly i can kind of control myself to atleast act the same infront of people but its really tireing and i guess lack of sleep dosent help it at all. one day i was apparently like a psychopath. i couldnt beat this boss in a game so i ended up talking to myself. not normal rage talk. i dont know how to discribe it. as soon as i beat the boss and got the sword it dropped i started getting excited like normal but then i started destroying eveyrthing with it and saying stuff like “LOOK WHOS THE POWERFUL ONE NOW! ME! DIE DIE DIE! HAHAHAHAH! HOW DOSE IT FEEL? HOW DOSE IT FEEL TO DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS OVER AND OVER AGAIN? NOT FUN HUH? WELL ITS SURE FUN FOR ME! HAHAH!” and im kinda glad i was home alone that day. its hard to discribe it. im afraid that sometimes im not even actually me when this happens. i dont even do anything when stuff like this happens it just dose it on its own sometimes and theres this feeling that i get to. that feeling is impossible to discribe. ill try though. its like a rush of every emotion that slowly turns into adrenaline and then turns into that wavey feeling you get sometimes and on top of that it feels like your about to faint or you stood up to fast. man today i couldnt even seam to speak correctly or do anything correctly. everything i did felt awkward as hell. i need to sleep