my mother often says things that make me wonder if she is talking in riddles to me. they will be talking about newspaper articles and yet I think they are referring (indirectly or subliminally) to me and what I have written on confessions. like its just so typical of my mother to think anything I do is a waste of time. she says “they are whipping a dead horse” yeh well, my fights are always dead horses to her. everything about me as a matter of fact. no man wants me. no job could handle a scum loser like me. she is such a downer on ones self worth. why does she do it? why pick on your kids like they are s***? does not that say something about her then? if I am such s***. she subliminally hates me. she will not admit it but I believe it is so. its like the toffee b** queen of England is in her coffin body bitching at everything about me. like how dare I bring up the child molesting stuff. she goes “you be careful what you say” and I seen the ghost of that fucken scarecrow black eyes and heart. she has a problem. the woman is crazy. she copies me often as if I am the same age as her. all her health problems seem to passing over to me. at night I hear her sleeping and its like a ghost is in her at times. she sounds like she is growling and naying like a horse in her sleep. she has unresolved anger towards her children. especially her two lovely but neglected girls. sometimes I wish I was someone elses daughter. I want a mother who treats me right. and is not jealous of everything about me, as her more impressive younger half/shadow. I ignore a lot of what she does. and I get angry when she plays this weak doey bag act and either leaves taps running or shakes her hand and its a lie. she is acting at being deaf. I bet if I bought home a hot stud for a hot f*** she would not be deaf. she is mental. if nothing else she supports me on the issues on a few things. but she is playing at being this little dotty old lady and I hate it. she seems to think I have the power to ward of anything and I am tired. I will walk away easy and leave the lot to rot with my spell and only those who dare will enter and use the tomb of the dead of me and my treasures. they will be cursed. my mother is breaking my spirit for some reason over another man. but she knows I do not love his guy and she says I don’t have to. should I just go out and get a f****** up for the night. I need one.
