I’m the youngest daughter in the family and all my sisters above me are acceptably achieved. The eldest have married and have two kids while the second sister is on one of the highest and important part of the goverment system. Then there’s me. The failure. The worst. The rebel one. The difficult one. I’ve failed my diploma and I regret everything I did during my diploma. I hated it soo bad but my dad wants me to continue with it. Then after 3-4 years failing still, I’m really done and I don’t want to go back there or even hear s*** about the uni and my course. I’m currently just working an acceptable job, my dad asks me about my result which I still haven’t goten it. I knew I’ve failed again but I just don’t want to care or give a s*** about it anymore. Dad once said that he doesn’t care about my result but yet he still asks me for it. It just makes me soo f****** stressed and just flat out giving up on life. I feel like all my faily never really supported me and really know what I want and how I am. I feel like nobody really knows me. I always feel alone, lonely and just plain useless. Makes me want to die and be over with it. Eventhough I know that even if I die, I won’t gonna be in heaven. I know I have s*** tons of f*** ups and I won’t be in heaven before all the depts are done. Yet I rather be that than to live in a world where I just don’t belong and where even my family won’t understand and support me.