i never did the normal high school thing. after i got out of the center i tried going back couldn’t.
also i met adult working musicians which took me on board.. seemed an easy choice. seeing cities.. bars in day light after long nights.. hotels vans.. recording.. creation practice.. groups working towards a common goal.. felt like freedom.. too bad i was so shy.. i barely ever played.. or talked.. but soaked it in.. lasted maybe 6yrs.. my 20’s i ‘cleaned up’, less weed+alcohol, no more pills.. mostly isolated for about 10yrs. monk life for a few.. disciplined.. trying to find my simplest form. but now going on 32 i do feel like i missed out on the teenage to adult thing.. so called formative years.. which they were.. i loved it all and anyway really felt incapable of those huge buildings crawling with loud kids.. but it’s the kind of thing that when it stops, you have nothing much to show for it.. an artful life requires a lot of persistence and work to maybe one day, if stars align, be successful.. and since i hate stress, i’d like to have the security of a job that i love.