I know who I am. At least, I think I do. I can be kind, sweet, playful. I like kids, I try to always smile. I give out compliments where I see them, even if it’s just “Nice earrings” or “I like your hair”. I’m also easily hurt and spiteful, especially where my family is concerned.

Today my mother stood me up. Nothing major, nothing new. We were supposed to go look for a camera together. That’s it. I called her as soon as I finished my final. No answer. So I picked up my friend and my cousin and went to see a movie. Called her when the movie ended. No answer again. Come to find, she’s three towns over with a friend. A 25 year-old friend.

I took my cousin and friend with me and bought the camera. I came home and fumed. I took her iPad, rearranged her apps, left a note “Thank for standing me up you jerk”, and hid her pillow. That’s what I did. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what I did.

I have a lot of unresolved anger with my mom. Senior year she had something of a mid-life crisis (at 35) and nearly split. Didn’t find out till months later that it was a cancer scare that caused it. Summer after, we were supposed to take a trip, just the two of us. Terrible planning and lack of communication left me somewhat stressed the morning of and I snapped at her once. She left without me and took her (21 year-old) friend with her.

I moved out for a while, but money and roommate problems brought me back. I’m nearly 20.