9 years
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Ever since I learned how to hold a g******* pencil in my hand, all I ever wanted to be was an artist. My whole life has just been dreams of paint and color, and all I see and make is beautiful creations that come from my mind and I love sharing it with others and they love seeing it. I remember gushing over those stupid archie sonic comics when I was 7 and from that day on I wanted to use my talent to make someone else feel the same, and as I grew, I looked more into animation and now I want to be a storyboard artist.

My parents, for a while, supported this goal of mine, but my father, an ex-ranger from the army, wants me to join the air force. It’s awful, and a horrible manipulation comes into play because while my parents still continue to help me be an artist, my father is also trying to coax me into joining the air force. Even though I have an average gpa, my parents tell me that it’ll be a miracle if I graduate, because they are very smart people with a very dumb, mentally unstable son. I made a deal that if I get a gpa of a D or lower I will go into the military, where I will probably kill myself; if not I can go to community college and further reach my dreams. My parents say that they will reluctantly pay for my community college but I’ll find the money, this is my dream and I’ll do whatever it takes for me to get the money, even if it kills me.

I have nothing against people who are in the military, but my personal morals and reasonings and beliefs make it seem that if I go with that option I’ll be betraying myself. Thinking about it keeps me up at night, causes episodes, puts me into a state of such heavy stress my mind can’t handle it. The future is scary, and these two options will take me down two completely different paths. And that’s horrifying.

New Confession

At 16 I was working in a doctor’s office answering calls and greeting patients at the front desk. One day a co-worker said he’d take over for me because the doctor wanted to see me. I went into the room where Dr. Beth was at. I was pleasantly surprised to see a young boy strapped down in restraints with his pe nis and tes ticles fully exposed. The doctor smiled and said well Donna you said you wanted to see a ‘snip and clip’ so here’s your first one. I thanked her for the amazing opportunity. It was a wonderful birthday gift. She showed me how to wrap the boy’s legs to keep them warm and prevent muscle spasms. Then we put a sequential compression device (SCD) on his legs to improve blood flow since the doctor said he would be spread open in restraints for a while. The opportunity to watch him being circ umcised was exciting and made my pa nties wet.

She said that although this was only a circ umcision she likes to get a IV line in place just in case it’s needed and she showed me how to put an IV in his arm. She added that we would use a very small amount of Vecuronium in the drip to help relax the boy and keep him manageable and still. I asked if that was a pain medication and she said no it wasn’t and she didn’t use pain medication because many patients had adverse reactions, allergic reactions, reactions from conflicts with other medication they are taking and etc. Also in this case the boy’s mother did not feel that anesthesia was appropriate.

She said she was using the minimum Vecuronium drip, below threshold levels. only as a supplement to the restraints. we started the drip, made sure the boy’s chest was covered and he was warm.

His p e n i s was er ect and she said that was just fine and she gave me a Foley catheter to insert up his er ection. It was my very first catheterization and it went well although he struggled a little, moaned and groaned, so I put a rubber mouth piece in his mouth to silence him. The doctor said the IV drip would soon kick in as it was fast acting. With the drip and the mouthpiece he was no more trouble. She high-fived my success on the catheter insertion. The rubber catheter impaled his wobbling shaft and he was already filling the urine bag.

The doctor suggested I tilt the chair up so the boy could see his for eskin being removed. I tilted the chair up and aligned his vision with his erec tion. He was covered and warm except for his arm with the IV line and his pe nis and balls which were fully exposed for my view and examination. The doctor told me to prep him and I followed her instruction to examine and wash his pe nis and scr otum with hospital soap and then wipe the area with alcohol. He was wide eyed as I washed his stiff shaft and there was a little groan but that was all.

She pushed the cut-down tray over toward me and said it’s all yours, your very first circ umcision. She showed me how to measure the for eskin a nd clamp it and to decide what style I preferred for the finished look. The doctor helped me get started snipping a little strip of for eskin off the shaft. The boy hardly moved but there seemed to be a few trembles in his legs which the doctor said was normal. Occasionally there was a high pitched squeak coming from his mouth which was muffled by the mouth piece.

The doctor instructed me step by step on how to trim each strip of for eskin with the circ umcision scissors and to place the hemostats to control bleeding. My pa nties were soaked and I was breathless as strip by strip his for eskin was taken and his shaft was molded to my design. It was so satisfying. His shaft was sprayed with alcohol to keep it clean. We took a break and had some tea while Dr. Beth explained more about the procedure. The boy laid quietly on the chair with an occasional squeak which was muffled by the mouthpiece.

I went back to work to finish up the job. Dr. Beth highlighted his large fleshy fren ulum and asked if I was going to excise it. She explained that in boys, the fren ulum is a favorite pleasure center for abuse through excessive mas turbation. She said the boy’s mother had brought him in because of his excessive, compulsion to mas turbate to the extreme. He was so addicted to abusing himself that he rubbed himself raw. I said it was a good idea to remove that burden from him by cutting off his fren ulum. She stood by with the cauterizing needle and I excised off his fen ulum and then with the hot cauterizing needle seared shut the area to stop the bleeding. A small whiff of smoke rose from the cauterizing needle. Again there were squeaks from the boy and some leg trembling but he was held secure enough by the restraint straps so that I could do neat work.

The circ umcision pulled his scr otum up his shaft. Dr. Beth said his mother will approve of the ‘ball lift’ which will be more aesthetically pleasing. I practiced my sewing skills with some fine sutures to join the remaining inner and outer skin edges of the skin on his pe nis. The whole area was sprayed down with alcohol and an antiseptic spray to prevent infection.

That was my very first circ umcision. I went on to nursing school and graduated early in an accelerated course with my BSN and then my MSN and APRN. I have been doing circ umcisions and I love the work. It’s a thrill to get up in the morning to get well paid for cutting and trimming the pe nis and helping boys with their behavior problems, health and aesthetic appearance. I love my work and my patients all love me. Donna MSN APRN, circ umcision expert.

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