Sometimes I just want to kill people, I spend an unhealthy amount of time planning murders just to collapse at the end as reality comes in. I feel like I don’t belong because I’m a monster, a ticking time bomb. I feel like the only thing stopping me is that I care about my parents’ reputation. After I feel like this for a while, fantasizing about killing, a slow and abosutely empty depression settles in which makes me want to select myself out of existence because I feel so lonely, I’ve created a lonely perfection in my thoughts which I will never achieve I will never be happy because my happiness is dangerous.