9 years
x
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he says if i kill myself then hes next. so if were both gonna die then why not do it together? we can be angels together. we can die in each others arms. when i start to panic and my heart speeds up only to stop completely, he can be there to hold me. we can listen to each others soft breaths slowly die out. we can be in love forever. i can look at his soft knowing eyes and he can look at my old gray eyes, i can reach out and just feel him one more time before we’re both gone. i want to be with him. always. but i just cant keep living in this world. i love him so much. oh god, so much. theres so much i would give to have him here right now. he makes it all better, he makes all these bad thoughts go away. jesus he deserves the world and i cant give it to him. i try. i try really hard.

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