I’ve been hiding out at the house of a “friend” because I’m trying to avoid paying child support. This guy’s wife’s a b**** but she’s hot. So they go out one day and I sneak into their bedroom so I can check out her p**** drawer. I got a little carried away and started m*********** on their bed with some of her p****** over my face. Suddenly they come home and catch me red-handed. Holy overreaction. My “friend” tries to kill me while she calls me a “disgusting creep.” Now they’re kicking me out. What the f*** is wrong with these people?