12 years
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There was a time at which writing out my feelings would help when I was like this. I would sit down in front of my computer, open up this site and type up a novel of what I was feeling at the moment. Every paranoid thought, every little bit of guilt. Anything that came to mind. I’d write about it until I couldn’t anymore. ‘Til I was completely emotionally drained. Sometimes I would post it, sometimes I’d just erase it.

Now, I don’t even know where to start. Sitting here, typing this out just makes me feel even worse than I did before. I’m officially past the point where I can help myself in this frame of mind. F*** it. I might as well do some stupid self destructive s*** before I go back to normal. Might as well get the f****** most out of it.

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