I’ve become completely unsympathetic toward my girlfriend’s current breakdown. She’s bogged down with grad school applications right now, but she’s too busy with work to get things finished on time. When I suggested months ago that she cut down on extra (freelance) work to free up her time, she declined. When I offered to pick up her extra work for her (we share the same profession), she declined. When I suggested that she spend less time planning and more time actually completing applications/essays, she told me that my idea was unpractical. Every helping hand I’ve extended has been shrugged away. Not out of malice, but out of a stubborn tenacity and misguided attempt to carry the world on her shoulders.
Now the deadlines are looming and she’s completely breaking down. I’ve watched her dig this hole for so long that I can’t feign surprise at seeing her stuck at the bottom. I still comfort her and console her, but it’s getting harder and harder. I’ve watched countless relatives and relationship partners self-destruct in the same fashion, and it’s just getting harder and harder for me to be sympathetic. This type of behavior is what ended my last relationship, and seeing it manifest in my current one is just incredibly frustrating. Why do people do this to themselves? Am I some sort of monster for not feeling bad?
