Dear Exes, It's been really hard still being classmates with both of you. I can't tell anyone these things, so let's tell the internet. Ex no. 1, over the

12 years

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Dear Exes,

It’s been really hard still being classmates with both of you. I can’t tell anyone these things, so let’s tell the internet.

Ex no. 1, over the past couple of years, I’ve come to realize how much of a ditz you are. I don’t think I’d ever get back together with you, but honestly you’re still really really cute, and I’d love to sleep with you again.

Ex no. 2, Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to flirt with me. Unlike Ex no. 1, I’d love to get back together with you, but please, please, PLEASE dump that loser you replaced me with first before making googly eyes at me again. After that, and not a second sooner, let’s talk.

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