I am pretty sure that I am struggling with an eating disorder and its really scary. I haven’t been to a doctor or been diagnosed, but I have a really hard time eating and when I do eat I literally hate myself so much. I have cut and attempted suicide after binging and purging sessions. I really feel as though I need help. but I really don’t want to get any help because if I gain weight then I will be one of the most unhappiest people alive, I hate myself enough already as is. I have heart troubles now, even though I am still at a healthy weight. I haven’t seen a doctor about it, im too scared that they will force me to eat, even though im already fat. I just really don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to end up getting in critical condition or dying from an eating disorder.