Tonight (well, 7:00 PM) there was a gathering at my school, twelve people attended and a teacher. While being there they discussed different subjects.

I just sat in my chair, looking around and simply listening. I had a lot on my mind which caused me not to want to be there anyway.

After the meeting was over I awkwardly walked over to the teacher, said “see ya” and slowly turned around. I merely turned around, actually.

Before fist bumping me, he said “Hey, keep it real”. I could barely give him eye contact so I nodded my head.

“How are things at home?”

F***, f***, f***. All I did was give him a thumbs up and stammer up the word “good”.

Everyone else was cleaning up, they were just background noise.

My teacher looked me straight in the eye and said “You don’t have to fight this alone” and pulled me in for a hug.

(This teacher is a close friend of mine in and out of school. He has helped me with a lot of situations.)

I literally started to cripple and I do not think he realized. Seconds after, I eased myself out of the embrace and walked to the door. There were tears in my eyes and I bit my tongue to avoid sobbing in front of everyone.

I left, got in the car and was quiet all the way home. I have not told anyone what happened.

His words literally crippled me emotionally. He does not know my current situation nor did he know I was struggling. Until I was there, he somehow /knew/. I did not know how transparent I could be.

I do not know how I can go back, I do not know why. It scares me.