I’m just lonely. I want to actually love someone. Okay..maybe not even that. Maybe just really like someone, or just be asked to go get coffee or something with someone decent. I know I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, but I’m okay in other areas. Why is it that the people who treat other people like such garbage have no problem finding someone? I could maybe even deal with not having a boyfriend…but I would like my friends to notice me once in a while. I’m tired of always having to make all the plans or no one wants to hang out with me. Next weekend is my birthday and I’m praying that my friends ask me to hang out. (Both of my best friends are extremely introverted. They don’t hate me. They aren’t fake friends…they just prefer to be alone.) I just want to sit in a living room and watch crappy Christmas specials and eat junk food. I just don’t feel very loved or wanted by people that aren’t my family. I know that it’ll all be different very soon, but right now it kinda s****. I don’t like that my ex boyfriend decided to tell me after 9 months of dead silence how he thinks I’m a great girl and that he hopes I find someone soon because I “deserve it”..I mean…I appreciate it and all but it’s coming from an ex boyfriend who hasn’t spoken to me in 9 months. Being alone really didn’t even bother me until he said that. It just bothers me when people remind me that I am alone. No one flirts with me, I don’t go on dates, I’m just here. People tell me I’m pretty and fun all the time but no one really wants me. Gah that sounds whiney. It’s fine. I mean I’m not going to cry about it and feel bad forever about it. It’s just…it gets to me sometimes. I just want something to work out I guess. “It will! Just give it time! You’re young!” Yes. I know all that. Just..my patience wears a little thin sometimes.