12 years
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I open my eyes and see sunlight streaming through the window of a bedroom that doesnt belong to me.
I can feel movement beside me. It’s rhythmic, like a heartbeat or breathing. It’s both, and I feel it against my back.
I try to stretch my arms out but something is keeping them against my chest. I look down and see another pair of hands twisted into mine, big, strong and gently gripping my own small hands in them.
I finally wriggle free and something moves beside me, I turn and see you turn onto your back. I gaze at your long torso jutting out from underneath the rumpled sheets, covered in a light sun kissed tan and thin layer of lean muscle.
I move closer and look at your face and realise it’s not the most beautiful face I’d ever seen. But it was yours, and that’s all I wanted.
I gaze at your chin covered in a light layer of 5 o’clock stubble and think of all the times I’d felt you lean your chin atop my head when you hugged me. I move onto your lips and think about all the times you’d said the most ridiculously beautiful things to me with them. All the times i’d felt those same lips travel all over my own lips and journey down my entire body.
I look up at the messy mass of black hair on top of your head, and realise after all the times I’ve asked you to get it cut, I like it the way it is.
And finally I look down and meet your now fully awake gaze. Those dark brown – almost black – eyes which have time and time again have managed to grab me and pull me down into them. The eyes that I could look into for hours and still be able to see galaxies and dreams in them.
They blink causing me to snap out of my daydream. You smile at me and put your hand on my cheek and give me that warm half smile that completely destroys me whenever I see you.
You open your mouth to say something to me-

I wake up.
I’m in a bedroom that belongs to me. I can freely move my arms. I can’t feel a heartbeat or any breathing beside me.

No chin, no lips, no hair, no eyes, and no words.
Just me.

I’d give anything for that dream to come true.

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