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In my fantasy, a man is told by a prophet that his son will r*** his daughter when they’re both 16. Horrified, he sends his son away and shelters his daughter at home. They’re both still children and had been together constantly for most of their lives. Away from his family, the son grows sullen and withdrawn. He works at a mediocre level and remains isolated from his peers. His sister excels at home, growing in beauty and knowledge. She takes on positions of importance at her temple and begins to apprentice there. Years pass, and her brother returns home without his father’s permission or knowledge. He’s angry, and he wants to go home. He’s come to nothing. He goes to see a group of dancers and is taken by the beauty and grace of a young woman with dark hair and eyes. He can’t stop thinking about her and knows that if he could be with her, he would feel whole. Certain that feelings such as his couldn’t go unreturned, he approaches her. Of course, she doesn’t know him, but he takes her kindness for something more than it is. He forces himself on her, and she, unused to the trials of the world, is unable to stop him. He takes her to his father’s home, ready to show his family that he was good enough for someone, that they were wrong to send him away. Of course, the dark-eyed girl is already known there. The prophesy came true.

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
You have no idea how many times I have tried to confess sins or talked to a priest. How much effort I have put into it Christianity and faith and these weird spiritual things I have gone through. I’ve spent 2 1 /2 years still trying ti understand visions even. And all this other stuff that I don’t understand (other spiritual things all kinds of stuff even dreams that were spiritual) and yeah I prayed about it yeah I talked to priest about it. Your Bible is useless on so many issues. Jesus is a damn moron and a jerk and clearly is f****** deaf