The last week has been kind of crappy.
I was offered a job pertaining to my actual degree. I’m currently back in school for a technical certification because I spent two years looking for a job in my field with no success, and I’m tired of living at my parents’ house, in this s***** little State, full of s***** little people. I had to turn it down because I’ve already paid $2600 for this program.

They cut my hours again at work. I’m already barely scraping by on the bills I have to pay.

I got some photos back from a “professional” photographer last night and wept because they were hideous. Imagine the features you see in yourself that make you self conscious. Imagine them amplified times a hundred and slapped onto an image. I’ve done real modeling, both photo and runway, and loved the results; what I saw in those photos made me hate my body and my face. I haven’t felt the way I’ve been feeling all day since June of 2010.

I was called incompetent today by a man on the phone at work for things beyond my control. He proceeded to spout profanities, and hung up on me. I am a customer service representative, not a construction specialist, nor the person who decides what the store carries. “I’m building a stage for a church,” he said. With that attitude and mouth? You must think you’re a fantastic example of how a person should be, because you go to church. I have news for you- going to church doesn’t make you a good person if you’re an a****** in all other aspects of life… though I bet he thought I deserved to be called names and cussed out.