I have a serious confession. I’m in love with an anime character. Ok so now you can laugh at me. Or scoff or roll your eyes. The truth is, it worries me a lot too. I didn’t really choose this to happen. The next thing I knew, I couldn’t get my mind off him, my heart twinges painfully whenever I see his 2-dimensional face on my laptop or my iPhone, he even appeared in my dreams. Countless times! It gets to the point that I could no longer see other, normal, real guys as attractive at all. And I live in Australia, where basically everyone looks hella attractive. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t tried. I went out on dates, met up with new people, tried to look positively at the guys who seemed interested at me and you know, basically tried my best to like them. In the end, I just can’t.

The character I’m in love with isn’t even that attractive in terms of normal standard. He is way too short, and has this really grumpy facial features. In fact, he has quite a grumpy personality. If you’re an anime fan and reading this, you might’ve been able to guess who he is.haha. I’ve read in forums and stuffs though that most people do find him s*** in a bad-boy kind of way. He is not one of those p******, flirty kind though. He just had a very strong self, in heart and body and is very wise despite his rough and somewhat rude outward behaviour. In real life though, I would’ve avoided this type of guy at all cost. He’ll just bring nothing but trouble for my already egoistical self.

Still, I can’t help how my mind and body react to this character. Just thinking about him makes me shiver in both pleasure and pain. Seeing his face randomly (in pictures and stuffs) lights up my whole day. It’s crazy, primarily because I am completely aware that he is not real. I should add that I have an extremely imaginative mind. That didn’t help at all. When you could imagine a 2D character to be as vivid as a 3D one, you know you’re fucked.

I dream about him all the time. And I don’t even mean the usual daydreams. I meant the dreams I have when I’m sleeping. The dreams that unlike normal daydreams, I can’t really control. One time, I had this really incredibly realistic dream of me and him holding hands. It was a completely harmless dream. I mean you could’ve dreamed yourself holding hands with a puppy and get away with it. But no, the thing that bothers me is how vivid and realistic it felt when I was dreaming it. When he touched my hand (god, why did his hand looked so real?), I felt that weird sensation you know. Like a jolt of electricity running up your arms, warming your whole body up. Even when I woke up, I realised I was breathless and that my heartbeat was too fast. I felt this way only when the guys I dated before (before I got infatuated to this anime character) touched me for the first time. I don’t know if my brain was just messing with me by replaying those old feelings again or something but it’s crazy how i could associate that feeling with an anime character! Holy s***, man. What am I gonna do now?! I’m like, seriously in love with this dude. And it’s ruining my life and any potential relationships I’m supposed to have with a real guy!