I am such a f****** joke. I have enough potential for 50 people but I’m too f****** lazy to do anything with it. Opportunities practically throw themselves at me and I write it off as hard work. I’ve convinced all my friends and family that I’m dedicated but I’m f****** not. It’s all a f****** show…I barely pass as an artist or a musician and idk if everyone around me is too stupid to notice or just not saying anything to be polite. I don’t even have enough credits to graduate and what do I do? Pretend everything is fine so next semester at the last minute I can say ‘well I didn’t realize anything was wrong’. All so I can keep my f****** spare? I’m a f****** idiot. How have I gone this far without people calling me on my b*******? Everyone thinks I’m some kind of godlike creature with my ‘artistic and musical f****** talent’. Everyone thinks I’m a f****** deep, magical old soul teenaged messiah or some f****** s***. Yet here I am, pathetic as always writing this b******* p****-a** confession so internet trolls can laugh and look down on me. I’m don’t even use real methods of self destruction. I just eat f****** wheat products (I’m allergic to wheat) and cut myself like a fat whiny cry baby. If I had money maybe I could boot some booze but I’m too much of a little b**** to hold more than a sip of alcohol. God f****** damn it I should just f****** kill myself and let everyone know what a selfish, fat, apathetic a****** jerk I really am. I f****** hate myself.