My dad molested me when I was 7. He doesnt dare to look at me eversince.
I was raped when I was 14. And molested again when I was 17.
I grew up to hate myself, everything about me, my eyes, my lips, my thights, my hair, my hands.. everything. I started cutting when I was 15, but no one knew until i was 16 or 17, i still cut and no one knows. No one will ever understand why i do it, nor the battle i have with myself everyday. Everyday I wake up hating myself and everything around me, everyday i wake up disapointed that i have. I’ve attempted suicide once less than a year ago, and i think i might do it again anytime soon, I just want this life f****** over, everyday is a struggle, Im fat, im ugly, a worthless p************, no one would even notcie if im gone. I cry all the time when im alone, i have constant fights with my mind, i do not sleep and its been over 3 days since ive eaten. I wish I could die, i wish.
Im the girl who’s always happy on the outside, and thinks of other before thinking of herself, but im tired and i just want to end everything.

so,
To all my friends, you all f****** left when you promised you wouldnt ever leave.
To my mom, thank you for helping me develop my eating disorder, and my distorted body image.
To my dad, thank you for making it hard for me to love and trust anybody.
To my r***** and abuser, you made me who I am today, you created a monster. I hope you f****** go to hell.
To my sister, I love you for everything you’ve done for me, don’t feel guilty, you have enough problems yourself to even notice mine.

To all teens out there, SPEAK UP, LOVE YOURSELF, do it for me. Talk to someone, you are all beautiful and worth it, don’t ever let anyone tell you you are not.

” Eventhough I may not know you, I love you, from the bottom of my heart”